Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Un-Optimized Ineffeciencies

According to a distressing new study, internet surfing by employees costs American corporations $178 BILLION annually in lost productivity:

http://www.websense.com/global/en/PressRoom/PressReleases/PressReleaseDetail/?Release=050719976

This is particularly disturbing following a number of other recently published reports that have similarly calculated annual losses in productivity for American corporations on account of the following employee activities and issues:

- Writing personal emails: $92 billion

- Thinking unproductive thoughts: $232 billion

- Talking to people: $112 billion

- Establishing emotional connections with co-workers: $73 billion

- Wallowing in existential lonlieness following unsatifactory sexual intercourse: $82 billion

- Non-value added physical movements: $104 billion

- Laughing longer than necessary: $253 billion

- Brain cell depletion on account of the aging process: $204 billion

- Overzealous attention with regard to offspring: $201 billion

- Ambivilance toward human exisitence: $110 billion

3 Comments:

Blogger Voix said...

Wait a second -- Are you telling me that major corporations aren't ambivalent about human existence?

3:55 PM  
Blogger David said...

Eh. I don't know. Just writing stuff. Your deconstruction is giving me a headache.

6:40 PM  
Blogger Voix said...

Another question -- are you trying to say that wallowing in existential loneliness following unsatisfactory sexual intercourse is a productive thought?

Just checking.

4:37 PM  

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